jusummerhayes

Live in the question

I no longer hold myself out as a coach. 

To be honest, I was never sure of the regnant label and often felt ill at ease dolling out honest but often hackneyed advice.

But — and it's a big but — if I were to return to the fray, I'd dial down the 'it's-your life-and-it's-ending-one-day-at-a-time' malarky and instead offer only one fix.

Find a question that can't be annihilated easily or at all and live in it — possibly until the end of your days.

If you recall this is what Rilke said:

"You are so young, you have not even begun, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything that is unsolved in your heart and to try to cherish the questions themselves, like closed rooms and like books written in a very strange tongue. Do not search now for the answers which cannot be given you because you could not live them. It is a matter of living everything. Live the questions now." — Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet 

Of course, this was in the context of the creative endeavour but it applies in equal measure to everything else that shows up in our life — e.g. success, fame, money, and happiness.

To be honest, I think it extraordinarily difficult to find a question or even a few that would meet the 'live in the question' test.

Try it now.

What one question a) can't be slain on the altar of a glib response, and b) could and would absorb you and all your genius for the rest of your natural days?

Who am I?
What am I?
What's my purpose?
Why am I here?

All perfectly laudable, but somehow I think they've been done to death and need, if not a makeover, a lot more explanation as to their import.

And please dear readers don't think I escape my chagrin. I'm still wrestling with not finding meaning in my legal work set against all the benefits that it bestows on me, set against the fact that I've limited time left in which to make my creative mark. Still, my overriding sense is that I'm going to go where I go and to that extent perhaps the or any question exaltation is otiose. 

Yes, I think that more likely the case. I have a sense that whatever shows up will still receive my full time and attention but perhaps, just perhaps, there will come a day where I can finally cut the Gordian Knot.

Anyhow, it's that time again. It's a bit bleak outside. I'm not sure if it's raining but it doesn't matter. I've a new coat I got for my birthday that I've been itching to try out in the rain and this might be the day. Now, Alfie, where are you hiding today?

Take care.

Blessings and much love, Ju.

Photo by Brian Lundquist on Unsplash

PS. What did you think to my little Bandcamp offering?

If you're able to support my work then I've put up a 'support' page on my main website. Thank you in advance; even a small amount helps me continue to write these blogs and maintain my site.

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