jusummerhayes 🤔curious

Time passes

In a sense, as we are creative beings, our lives become our work of art. — Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity

Good morning.

How are you today?

I'm back to my normal routine — up at 5 am, coffee poured and I'm playing some wonderful music.

Perfect. Simply perfect.

Just in case you're wondering, having already shared a quote on Livejournal this morning, the above line from Julia Cameron's book is no accident. I've got it on Kindle and this is one of the many lines that I've highlighted.

It's true, isn't it?

Life = our work of art.

Sadly, mine is replete with..., well..., work. 

Dull, boring work.

But, hey, it was made that way. (By whom or what?)

No regrets. 

No, really. I've no regrets. How could I? It's done. Over. Finished.

Moreover, now is now, and that's all we've got, hence why (I suspect) I keep showing up here and sharing a few other things online. OK, perhaps it's not a high form of art but, right now, it's all I've got. Yeh, I'd love to be writing more poetry, writing and doing calligraphy but I've only got a limited amount of time and energy and whilst it would be nice to think I could create a body of other work, I'm expressed right now to show up here, write daily and then, well, everything else is a blessing.

What about you?

Do you ever look back over your life and wonder?

I know why I'm sharing these few words today or at least I think I do: Brian is very much on my mind, as he has been since I first went to visit him at home after he left hospital. I'm thinking again about all he achieved — which was huge. In fact, his life was a vivid, monumental explosion of love, doing and building something of value. Yes, it was chaotic at times but, by god, he gave it all he'd got and some more. I mean, think about it. To run one business successfully takes a more than a bit of luck and perspiration, but to run, well, multiple enterprises — i.e. farming, building and car hire for weddings — is fairly staggering and, at the same time, raise a family of four children. It's not that I'm saying everyone or anyone should try to emulate him but it illustrates to me that if we're expressed this way what's truly possible. 

In thinking about Brian, I'd be lying if I'm not awash with a sense of disappointment at my own life, given how much of it I've wasted arguing with the world and all that it apparently didn't offer me. Instead, I'd have been wiser to apply all that angst, energy and passion for life into building something. Something of my creation. Then again, I tried that twice and failed miserably. That suggests to me, unlike Brian, I'm not very good at business or at least the ones I've hitherto tried to scale. But, hey, that was then, this is now. And all I can do is all I can do. I don't say those words to duck my own failings but instead to acknowledge that we've only got this moment in which to fall totally in love with what we're doing and not waste our time arguing with what is. That means if I'm predisposed to do, well, nothing or not very much then that's what I'll do. There's no point comparing myself to Brian or anyone else. His life flowed the way it flowed and mine will too. I find that terribly liberating. In fact, it's a great release to know that I don't have to do anything other than what I'm doing. 

Ipso facto, there's only so much time or lifeforce that remains and that will continue to quicken if not now then certainly in the next few years. How I see and respond to that can't possibly be known but if my life has taught me anything, it's that little and often is better than the all or nothing modus operandi that's been the backdrop to large parts of my life. If nothing else, it's far less exhausting and I'd even say meditative, even if it means I only spend one hour a day on my chosen creation.

One last thing. We sometimes ruminate on the questions Why am I here?, What's my purpose?, and Who am I?. They're all perfectly respectable and, in some cases, mildly illuminating but the truth is, much like my little river that flows through South Brent, we'll go where we go, do what we do and end up where we end up. Of course we can plan, do and build but, despite it not appearing very obvious (or not very often), we don't will our will and to that extent, as I've learnt the hard way, the moment we appreciate that and go with the flow of life, is the moment life allows our gifts to shine from the very depths of our soul. Some of you will see this as a bit wishy-washy, ethereal or even fatalistic. I don't think so. I think it's liberating — fully liberating of all that we've got to offer the world. I'd put it even more pointedly. We too often argue with what is and that includes the fact that within each of us is a creative being that's desperate to escape the dry, dull sameness of each day. This doesn't mean we've got to abandon one life in favour of another but it does mean we need to answer the call of that inner voice that needs to find expression in the world. Or at least that's my experience; the moment I started blogging and writing was the moment I knew what it felt like to come alive to true self.

Until tomorrow then.

Blessings and much love, Ju.

Ph. by Kien Do on Unsplash


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