jusummerhayes

Too late

The end of another working week.

I used to do a weekly review but that sense of being (apparently) on top of things evaporated a long time ago.

It sounds hackneyed but it's how my life is and has become: 

I take one day at a time

Looking back just seems...foolish. But then again, perhaps I should consider (as an example) what I might have done differently. But, really! Do I honestly think I'm going to reprogramme myself to deal with the exact same situation differently, even for the better?

I don't think so.

I'll say it again — yes, and I know it's really boring but it's my life:

I'm here.
That's a blessing.
And all I can do is all I can do.

By the way, this isn't a prescription that I'm dolling out, nor my personal brand that I'm seeking to scale — ha, bloody ha. No, it's me, all of me and I'm not expecting anyone else to adopt let alone investigate what it's like to take one day at a time, and, as I said in yesterday's post, go with the flow [of life].

But then again, what else is there?

As to leaving things too late, is that on my mind right now? A little. Brian, my father-in-law, is very close to death and that, at least for me, in addition to the overwhelming grief and sorrow that's beginning to reveal its shadow and its light, reminds me (and us all) that it's too easy to put things off, but then, suddenly, for whatever reason, we find it's too late.

Too late to lean into something with all our energy, genius and proclivity to build and leave something of value. 

I feel that certainly in my writing and spending time with and seeing my children. But, thankfully, I no longer feel that apropos starting and building a business, upping the ante on my career or trying to be anyone other than me — all body, mind and spirit. The truth is, at the end, I'm not going to be here to report in on my level of life satisfaction, but, if it all ended tomorrow, I wouldn't (a) have any regrets or (b) think that I haven't at least tried to make something of my life — even though it's been a topsy-turvy ride for me and all concerned.

Of course, if you've got a long list of things you feel compelled to do then for heaven's sake don't put things off until tomorrow, the next week or when you get around to it. Be realistic, though. It's a marathon not a sprint. Also, as Thoreau said: "simplify, simplify". Don't let your list drag you down. It's meant to be joyful or life-affirming, not something you dread. Sorry, who am I to give advice? You're expressed the way you're expressed and if you feel inclined to plan, you will. If you don't, well...you'll do something else, even if that's nothing.

Until tomorrow then.

Thanks for reading and all your support.

Take care.

Blessings, Ju 🙏.

Photo by Serge Le Strat on Unsplash


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