jusummerhayes

Friendship

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”
A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

Good morning. 

I'm writing this post from a different location in my house. It feels strange — not altogether very relaxing — but I'll persevere for now.

How's your week been?

Is it me, or does it feel that everyone wants it to be back to the pre-Covid19 days? Why? I get the employment, survival thing but we're not out the woods yet, and I don't want to lose the silence and thoughtfulness that pervaded my world during the early days of lockdown.

Yesterday, my best friend came over to see us. This is only the second time I've seen him in about 10 or 11 weeks. We did the social distancing thing — just. 

The conversation was rambling, non-specific but it didn't matter. I was mostly in listening, deep listening mode as others — daughter #2, Allison and my friend — did all or the majority of the talking. 

All I kept thinking was that this moment, this gorgeous, perfect moment will never come again. 

I know you've heard that said many times, but if only we stopped to consider its import I know — oh yes I do — we wouldn't be so anxious to get on, get ahead, be heard, have our say and let (sometimes) our egos run amok. 

Both my friend and I have had health issues — his much more serious than mine — and underneath all the wonderful conversation, I'm quite sure he knows, better than most, what I'm trying to convey when I talk about the suchness, the specialness of the moment. 

It's a silent reverence for all the time we've spent together lost mostly in the specialness of being completely who are we are — all body, mind and soul

When he left, we said a few more words and although I didn't cry, when he drove away I felt eternally blessed to have known him.

Sorry, perhaps all I'm doing (yet again!) is pointing out the bleeding obvious, but then again, I think we should routinely consider the full ambit of what makes our friendships special and take some of those lessons out into the wider world. The one thing that stands head and shoulders above the rest (at least for me) is the non-judgmental way I've always been accepted by my best friend and his family. Imagine if we did that in our all interactions? No judgment. Pure openness, even at the risk of being wounded and hurt. I know it's too much to ask but nevertheless, I know I could learn a lot from my 40-year friendship in how I deal with other people. 

Until tomorrow then.

Thanks for reading.

Deep bows.

Blessings, Ju


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