This was yesterday's Tweet.
I should say that I'm still working but the work comes in dribs and drabs. I feel blessed, truly blessed to be in this space.
Previously, with this amount of free time, I'd have driven myself on, with an increasing sense of anxiousness that I wasn't getting enough done — 'more, more, more' would be my mantra.
I feel soft, soft in spirit and my cadence is as it should be — much more natural (I was going to say normal but I'm no longer sure what that means).
I know that this time and opportunity to slow down and be at rest will come again, not in its current guise at least.
And I'm in no desperate hurry to start the engines and set off in search of more action!
Reading, a meditative walk in nature and a few poems — my-end-of-day ritual now — is more than enough to fill my day.
Of course, I've got the house stuff to keep on top of, and be on hand for and help my children but there's not much else I'm invested in. I've avoided the news, the online quizzes and my parents made it clear, or rather my mother did, that she had no intention of using Skype or the like and so I've reverted to letter writing, as I have for most of my close friends.
I want to say that this is me — the real me — but I know that that's too contrived and in any event, it's only been a few days where I've allowed myself to settle into this routine. I might, as so often happens, feel compelled to do, which means sitting for hours at the computer. But I hope not.
One last thing. I think that, partially, this cadence can be resorted to even when I return to full-time work if I remember two things: 1) I'm not a machine and need proper rest and recuperation; and 2) rising early and doing one thing well and with my full attention is far better than scattering my attention hither and thither trying to do 101 things — none of which get done very well or sometimes at all.
I'd normally, or often would say, just about now, onwards..., but right now the message I'm trying to convey is slow down, look around you and feel yourself into the day. Of course, if there's an emergency then you'll have to and you will act but other than that, what's the hurry right now?
Much love, Ju.
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