“Unless God has raised you up for this very thing, you will be worn out by the opposition of men and devils. But if God be for you, who can be against you? Are all of them together stronger than God? O be not weary of well doing!” -- John Wesley
I can be a stubborn old git. And I don't just mean in the face of something obvious which I refuse to accept. I mean I'm stubborn (or is it hard?) with myself.
Seth Godin deals with it partly in his book The Dip, which he describes as A little book that teaches you when to quit (and when to stick). But it's a fine line between wasting time doing something that's unlikely to move you forward or working on and breaking through to the other side (think of the Edison quote on persistence).
Right now, I'm a million miles away from where I want to be with my writing -- for a start I'm not making enough time for it -- but something continues to drive me forward, even if that means I write only a few words a day. It would be nice to think that being a writer is what I was born to do, but it doesn't often feel like that. If anything, and as paradoxical as it sounds, it feels anything like it -- it should be super easy not so hard.
I'd like to think that my muse is just waiting for me to find my groove, but, if anything, I think my muse has grown weary of all my tired excuses and is happy for me to find my own way (or wallow in my own self-pity more like).
It's at times like this I wish I had someone I could reach out to for help, but even though I know there are a few people who would fit the bill perfectly, I know in the end that the only person who can move me forward is little old me. The truth of the matter is that if I do the pull the pin, I don't want to be in a position to blame anyone or anything.
As I keep saying, and I mean it 100%, onwards, forever onwards.