It's just after 5 am.
I'm sat here listening to Louise L. Handpan (below) and slowly drinking a cup of coffee.
I know I'm blessed. Truly, deeply blessed.
And very lucky.
But this is life, right?
Right here, right now.
But then again, everything changes and I know this is temporal — just like our thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
In the past, I would have coveted (more likely worked my arse off...) for one thing over an another. More sunshine, less darkness.
And it's great when it's going y/our way.
But, as I've discovered many times in my life, it never lasts.
In case you hadn't noticed — and forget the free will argument for a moment — we're not in charge of this openness to life.
It just is — whatever's arising in the moment.
I know, that's not very helpful when you're broken, torn asunder or suffering under Black Dog. Of course, reading these few words is not the same as being so overwhelmed that you become the depression or grievous hurt. Frankly, in that space, no amount of exhortation or haughty language is going to help. In any event, that's not my style — cheerleading that is. If you want that sort of '...you're the best' language (Pop Psychology as I would call it), then I'm sure there are plenty of well-meaning writers out there to cater to your delectation.
My schtick, such that it is: true self.
"Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul. For just as the wind carries thousands of winged seeds, so each moment brings with it germs of spiritual vitality that come to rest imperceptibly in the minds and wills of men. Most of these unnumbered seeds perish and are lost, because men are not prepared to receive them: for such seeds as these cannot spring up anywhere except in the good soil of freedom, spontaneity and love." (my emphasis added) — Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
But what of freedom?
Freedom you say!
What you mean to have what you want, to do what you want and to be what you want, at a moment's notice?
Sorry, that's not what I mean.
I mean to be totally you, however that manifests, and not to wear a plethora of faux masks.
Very few people achieve it. They exist, that's all, and end up fighting one battle after another but mostly they argue with what is.
Nothing is ever right.
No, if you want total freedom, I only have one message:
to love, and to be loved, unconditionally.
Step back for one second from the egregious pandemic — yes, even on a Monday.
Put your feet on the ground.
I know there's a dreadful temptation to move swiftly on to the next thing but if you're able to hold that place of quiet contemplation, perhaps invite the question/s:
What does it mean to love, unconditionally?
Likewise, to be loved, unconditionally?
And just stay with the 'feeling' as long as you're able.
Of course, you might think it childish and not worth your time — I'm fine with that, honest — but then again, you might realise that whatever is happening in your life, the world at large and the unfolding climate catastrophe, to be loved and to love is infinite in its purview and allows those seeds of spiritual vitality to penetrate and open your soul to everything that lies deepest within.
Or at least that's how it feels to me.
Blessings and much love ❤️,
PS. A huge thank you to everyone who read yesterday's LJ post, A busy mind, and commented here or on Twitter. I was deeply and forever touched.