jusummerhayes

The pain inside

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” ― Brad Meltzer

I was awake just after 4 am. Thankfully, I avoided the desire to get up and dozed until 5 am.

The coffee ☕ is poured; the central heating is keeping my little office super cosy; and it's a brand new day — yah, I'm still here 😄.

I thought carefully about what I might write about today and, try as I might, I couldn't get the above rubric out my mind. What kept coming up was a short Twitter exchange that I'd had yesterday, acknowledging an acquaintance's pain at rarely being heard but at last finding someone who was willing to ask a simple but profound question — "How are you today?" — and then (I assume) with grace and love listen to the answer.

You see the thing is, at least for me, we rarely see the other person (whoever they are...), less still hear them.

Just to be clear, my issue, whether in a work setting or otherwise, is it's very difficult for all of us to open up and discuss what's really going on in our lives. And whilst I'm sure there are many reasons, cogent or otherwise, to keep quiet — and here I talk from personal experience — I think every so often we need to break asunder our silence in a safe, caring and, I hope, nourishing way, otherwise we carry around a brokenheartedness that, if we're not careful, can slowly eat us alive.

Yes I know, it all sounds very dramatic and, in truth, all I'm advocating for is a world where we can talk openly, without shame and feel (and I sincerely mean this) that we're being properly heard.

The problem is that everything has become sterilised by glib or easy answers, systems or techniques that promise very little and a much less caring society or at least one that's too busy to stop and take in what's happening. I accept always that there are exceptions but in the first instance there's a wide-open space for (at least) an acknowledgement that we're rarely seen let alone heard, and in the mix then would be subjects like empathy, kindness, love, tolerance and perhaps the most important facet, deep, reverent listening.

How we go forward I've no idea but I know in my work and otherwise that I've still a lot to learn in hearing others into speech. And if that includes, as it must, their deep, traumatic pain then it's my role to serve that in the best way I can.

Of course, if you're already doing this work or know someone that is, then that is very, very special.

Anyhow, enough of my ramblings: I'd better get ready for the off — as you can probably tell by my lack of engagement on LJ, things have picked up at work and I'm in full edit mode of a 40+ page contract. It's not my favourite job but it needs to be done and sent back to our customer. 

Onwards, forever onwards...

Blessings, and deep bows,

Ju.

❤️


If you're able to support my work through patronage then you can either do so via Patreon or buying me a virtual coffee ☕. 

Photo by Hisu lee on Unsplash

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