jusummerhayes

Where has the time gone?

Yesterday (daughter #2's birthday celebrations) was, I think, a big success.

It was, just as she likes, full on.

To be honest, I felt a bit out of sorts in places, not least because our small little house was replete with (what seemed like) hundreds of voices all trying to be heard over the top of one another.

Even the evening meal in Plymouth was a bit too much for me: it was a wonderful sushi/modern cuisine restaurant but it had music playing almost like you were in a disco. I couldn't orientate myself and found that I was getting quieter and quieter.

Perhaps I'm too old for all this, but then again that sounds far too whimsical for anyone to take me seriously.

As I sit here this morning, before I head off to the gym with daughter #3, I'm hit by the sense of loss of all those things that will never come again. But that's life, right! And I really don't want to live in the past — it's nice to reminisce but it's not good for my soul.

Now is now, and that's all I need concentrate on.

Talking about the past, one day I hope to finish my memoir. It's been a stop/start process and I always find I've got much more to say about a certain passage of my life than I ever thought possible. One thing that I do want to share is my experience of fatherhood. You see, I never expected to get married less still to have children and, in many ways, every day has been a learning experience much like I try to bring beginner's mind to my work. There have been many highs but also (on my part) a lot of gaffs and slip-ups which I can never undo.

My eldest daughter is going back to London this afternoon. She's such an amazing person on so many levels and brings a level of calm to the house that's hard to describe. She's very busy at work and is getting ready to enter another architectural show. I'm keeping my fingers crossed but it would be wonderful for her confidence to see win something again, as she did last year.

As to the rest of the day, I've started a new book — "all about love" by Bell Hooks. I won't, for now, explain how I found my way to it but already I understand the serendipity with the first few pages that will, I'm sure, keep me rooted to my old man's chair where I like to read these days.

Anyhow, I hope you have a wonderful day.

Blessings, 

Ju.

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