“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.”
― Thomas Merton
This is Padstow Harbour. You very rarely see the fishing boats — the few of them that still exist — moored up this way. But storm Dennis, the 2nd in the space of a few weeks, made it (no doubt) impossible to set to sea, let alone fish.
I was up as usual at 5 am, notwithstanding that I'm on holiday.
Because I wanted to write — this post and elsewhere — and there was an overwhelming sense of wanting to make the most of the day. And I don't mean in a JFDI way, but blessed by the opportunity that this moment offers.
Like I've said way too many times, this moment will never come again, and whilst it's easy to put things off, when we're moved to do...something, we've no choice. Likewise when we're not 😂.
The weekend was a very lazy affair. Indeed, I can't remember the last time I did nothing, other than read a book, enjoy a glass of wine in the middle of the afternoon and snooze.
But it was just what the doctored ordered. Without being melodramatic, it loosened my bones and tissue which had, since Christmas, (once again!) become tight from the circularity and sameness of the work routine that my wife and I seem to have established for ourselves. Yes, it puts food on the table and pays the bills, but it's not where our heads are at.
Like, I suspect, many couples in their 50s, there's a liminal place that we're trying to make sense of. In my case, I feel time ebbing away and whatever energy and lifeforce I've left, I don't want it to be used up doing work that doesn't nourish the soul. But then again, I'm also very lucky with what I've got and it doesn't hurt once in a while to simply acknowledge that. I mean, even having the time, technology and space to write this post shouldn't be underestimated.
One thing I'm still vexed by, but in a good way, is the need to write more consistently. I know that social media is my enemy and I expect shortly to turn things off — don't worry I'll still write to LJ — and start down the road of those many books, including poetry, that I've been promising myself I'd finish...next week, month or year!
How was your weekend?
If you're in the UK, I do hope you avoided the worst of the storm but then again, looking at some of the pictures online, it looks pretty grim everywhere. I don't want to play the climate emergency card but then again, as my late grandparents would say: You reap what you sow. Indeed you do.
Today, I'm hoping that my wife and I get to go somewhere. I love my father-in-law's flat but I sense the need to spend time in the wide-open space that surrounds us. It's so gorgeous around here and if I do venture out, I'd like to take some black and white photos, if only because they remind me how beguiling is nature and all that she offers.
I'm also hoping to finish John O'Donohoe's sublime book, Benedictus. I've been reading it very slowly because the words are so thoughtful and resonant of my soul. Forgive me if I keep mentioning his name, but as someone very late to the party, I can't believe I've not stumbled across his work before, particularly given my love of David Whyte, Walt Whitman and Dr Martin Shaw.
I've not heard much from the kids but this coming week it's my middle daughter's 21st birthday and my wife and I have a few things still to sort. She wants to keep it low key but we'd still like to make it special for her. Yesterday I helped my eldest daughter with her application to complete her Masters in Architecture. It was wonderful to read her personal statement. She's done so much in such a short space of time. I'm in awe of her achievements. Daughter #3 was at a party in Dorset — it's a long story. My wife was understandably worried but I know that she'll be fine. Call it a 6th sense or the fact that she's street smart but I know that she'll be fine; and, in any event, isn't doing these sort of things what growing up is all about?
That's a wrap for now.
Much love, Ju