Some might call it growing up, but age is no predictor of insight.
I lived on auto-pilot for the best part of 40 years, assuming that I was following the right script, a script hewn out of the travails and successes of all those industrialists that had come before.
It took a serious whack to the head to break the chain to the same pattern of behaviour: drive, determination, work… and supposed success.
A book. That’s all it took to make me see that what was holding me back wasn’t my lack of commitment to the so-called cause but instead my mind. I accepted every thought that came (that I thought would propel me forward) without question.
That was my awakening; namely to realise we are not our thoughts.
In many ways that was the easy bit.
The unfolding thereafter.
Well, that’s my life work.
I can’t predict when and where you’ll awaken to your innate genius (or even if you will) but I doubt if you’ll find it if you obey the rules others have set for you, and you don’t seek an answer to the question Who or What am I. (And a slew of others that follow quick on its heels.)
If all this feels remote from where you are or where you want to be -- most people don’t want to look within -- then that’s just fine but you might find it impossible to come to terms with the sense that there’s something else out there waiting for you. In fact, even to think like that misses the point: you are already whole; you are already awake -- if only you could strip away all the conditioning that you’ve used (so far) to build a life.
One last thing, in coming to terms with a life where there’s an acceptance that we are not are thoughts doesn’t mean you live in some dreamlike state. No, if anything. Everything is alive. And I mean everything.