...live in the question.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
The metaphor is apt to describe our lives.
We search. We wander. We start...again.
But, if we know anything, we come back to the start: "Who am I?"
Nothing's easy in (this) life, but, trust me, until you stop running, you'll be exhausted with life -- it all seems so damn hard -- before you've even started.
Sit.
Breathe.
And feel life.
Sure, it may not look like that fairytale (or nightmare) you've been wishing for, but it's all you've got; and once it's gone, it's gone -- forever.
PS. No one knows you better than yourself; but you have to find that inner, true self before you can ever apply yourself to life as we've made it.