January 15th, 2021


“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
James Baldwin

Ash in my mouth

Money corrupts.

It also keeps us alive.

But, mostly,
it enables us to do what we do.

As to the ash point,
I heard Charles 'Chuck' Bowden say this when being asked about writing.
He said, and I'm paraphrasing,
that every time he did something for the money,
it always felt like ash in his mouth.

I know the feeling.

I've referred to it previously as a pair of golden handcuffs. Oh sure,
it's nice to keep the Wolf from the Door
and there's always that dreadful moralistic position, namely,
you've got a family to support (what about me?);
but, truthfully, what we actually need qua the money is:


That's not a typo.

Money should give us the time to do the thing that matters most to us. 

You'll disagree, I'm sure, especially if you've grown up on a diet of media-induced, soppy adverts that proselytise that work = stuff (and all badly made) = happiness.


You bet,
but since when did they teach you in school that there's no point to money if you're living the worst life possible or a pretty dull one at that? 

None at all. 

In fact, when you end up doing it only for the money, there's a constant interior battle and I've seen many people go their graves as angry, nihilistic people with a pile of regrets a mile f* high.

What am I saying? 

(I love that line, don't I?)

Well, unless you're retired (in which case I'd like to think you've got things sorted), isn't it time, even in or especially in the midst of this pandemic, to ask yourself why you do what do save the money? 

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My tweets

  • Thu, 12:48: Words https://t.co/Bqz3LGIQpc https://t.co/ZklabeSy0j
  • Thu, 13:25: Not much has changed I don't suspect. Miss @davidgraeber wise words. https://t.co/MoTVfSyiGb
  • Thu, 17:46: The no. of covid deaths is overwhelming. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being grief-stricken for all the families and friends affected, and the NHS staff trying so desperately to preserve life. But, I'm also angered by those people who don't see the enormity of the situation.
  • Thu, 17:50: My wife is going to be redeployed very soon back on to the hospital wards. It means making some changes at home to make sure we're as safe as possible. She doesn't say much about the situation, but I'm quite sure she's anxious about what's to come.
  • Thu, 18:08: Francis Bacon is my fav painter. (My wife hates his work.) I know he divides opinion but, frankly, I don't care. Much like Bukowski, his art is a polemic against so much of this world https://t.co/Vkj8wjJsbB.
  • Thu, 18:25: Anyone else like the writing of William S. Burroughs?
  • Thu, 18:53: Revealed: business secretary accepted donations from fossil fuel investors https://t.co/YjtHrL2qn0 / more sleaze. This lot are morally bankrupt.
  • Thu, 19:04: This has been on my mind all day. Steve is a very wise, kind and thoughtful human being. You should all follow him. https://t.co/YVu1Ejz954
  • Fri, 06:00: “Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final” ― Rainer Maria Rilke
  • Fri, 07:00: Ash in my mouth https://t.co/tyoZnrckEy / today's blog post. https://t.co/s4gbqsW1PS
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Blogging on Livejournal

It's great to be back writing again.

I missed it — a lot.

Sorry it's all a bit lopsided right now (climate catastrophe et al.) but it's all that's on my mind, even allowing for the sh*tstorm around Covid19.

I've not got any goals, plans or expectations other than to show up; and I like that. 

And edit.

But best of all, it's allowing me to process so much of the swirling noise in my messed up head.

Much love,

— Ju