January 3rd, 2021


But feelings were considered a kind of wind, and there was no need to freeze the wind, but better to thaw the clouds of hate into a rain of tears that fed the thirsty ground of the human soul. If feelings of revenge were occulted and not listened to, they certainly would freeze and reappear toxically and violently later. Change they must. — Martín Prechtel, The Smell of Rain on Dust (p. 81)

Paying attention

"Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it."
— Mary Oliver

Seriously, I could leave it there.

Then again.

Perhaps sit with the few words from Mary Oliver's poem, Sometimes, and consider if you have everything you'll ever need to lead a good life — rich with meaning.

But we seldom do.

Pay attention!

Instead, we're somewhere else, never fully present to what the moment offers.

Then again, what's arising now is what arising (as tautological as that sounds), and if that means you're off on another anger-fuelled rant, melancholic episode or you're suffused with grief, then that's where you're at. 

I could go further and say that even though it doesn't feel the same as when we focus and bring all our attention to the thing at hand — even the ugly thoughts that suck our energy — it's still arguable that we're paying attention but perhaps not astonished, save to the extent that we can't seem to ride a less anxious wave.

I suppose what I'm saying is don't be fooled into believing that you're life has to be one way only and not anything or everything else — i.e. it's very often a mess. 

Indeed, to my mind, and you may not agree, there is way too much marketing and brand identification with topics such as mindfulness and meditation to be really useful. Much better to admit to being the full catastrophe!

All that said, if we can get out of heads, meaning we stop overthinking everything, then there's at least a lightness to life or a little less darkness. 

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