December 30th, 2020

Good morning

I've been up since 4.40am — early to bed and all that.

A bit of housework (quiet as a Church Mouse), coffee poured and now listening to this:

And of course, a bit of writing.

Blessings and deep bows.


— JS


“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”
James Baldwin

Be yourself

It could hardly be simpler: be who you are.

I am, stupid.

Oh, I know you are.


Then again, think back to your very earliest memory. 

What do you remember?

Me: all play — spontaneity on an unprecedented scale. 

So glorious. 

There was no this or that and certainly no consideration of what lay up ahead (i.e. adulthood). 

It didn't last long: primary education came bundling out of nowhere. 

And then? 

It was all about, well, in my case, doing as I was told. Same drill as home — pretty much.

In truth, or so it now seems, all that was happening was that I was being prepared for Cubicle Nation. 

Sad, eh!

As a segue, I still remember the old man confronting my Head Teacher about something that had been said to me by one of my teachers. I don't remember the exact words but it was something along the lines of "...your son will be a bin man if he carries on misbehaving". What's wrong with being a bin man you might ask? F* knows, but it sure irked the old man who went a bit loopy-lou; he made it plain, in no uncertain terms, that no son of his (he only had two) was going to aspire to such a thing. In hindsight, I get where he was coming from — to a slight degree — but the truth of the matter was that my education was about as bad as it could have been, and if my old man had felt that pissed off, perhaps he should have asked himself a slightly more profound question than what sort of trade his youngest son should pursue? 

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