December 18th, 2020

Time passes

Ain't that so — it's more like a race against time.

If I could be bothered to do the obligatory Google search, I'm sure there's a well-trodden path exploring and illuminating why, as we age, time speeds up — that's if you even believe in the concept (some don't).

To be honest, those last few words sound a bit hollow, a bit bland or certainly they don't capture the heartfelt sense of loss I feel in knowing that I'm careering towards, if I'm not already there, the last third of my life.

So much to do, so little time to do it.

In my case, this isn't new. 

Even in my early years, I still had the feeling that time was not on my side, which I'm sure explains my extreme work ethic and the need for success — don't guffaw. 

The problem is, despite a degree of analysis about what I might want to do — more like an existential crisis or two (Who am I?) — I'm still not sure if I'm making the best use of my time. Who does? I know I can be too easily distracted, waste time doing the wrong things and I can procrastinate like the best of them.

To be honest, and I mean this, I wish I had found my calling or not thrashed around so much in the dark, and, at times, the bitter undergrowth of underachievement. 

I could big it up but then again, as I think about the trail of breadcrumbs I've left by dint of my work, relationships and the odd bit of give-a-shit, there ain't much to show for it. 

Collapse )

Life and death

it's such a fine line.

we live here

but know that death hides, lurking in the dark recesses of our mind.

i've been there. 

it wasn't pretty. not life-affirming but a questioning of everything i held dear. 

one day

i won't  be here 

and having born witness to Brian's death

i know that i want to make things as simple

straightforward

as possible.

if not, 

then everyone will look at what should have happened

as to what is.

death. keep it close to you. 

it will be coming for you one 

day.

My tweets

  • Thu, 15:31: @BizDeclares I've stumbled across your website, which I like. Can I enquire though why so few law firms feature? I can only see one. Surely that can't be right.
  • Thu, 16:08: We love our pets but why do we have so little regard for pigs, sheep, chickens and all other sentient beings that we rear purely to be eaten?
  • Thu, 18:44: Daughter #1 won't be coming home for Christmas. Mum and I are gutted but she has to self-isolate as her housemate has Covid. She's negative so far. I know she'll make it super special and we'll celebrate when we next see her.
  • Thu, 18:46: Who's the best science fiction writer? It's a genre that I've never really explored.
  • Fri, 05:05: TGIF but let's see what the day offers. Blessed of course. (It's pitch black outside, of course. The picture is of Penstave Woods in the Summer 🌿). https://t.co/wifObxHFdU
  • Fri, 06:00: “I'll figure out how to be truer: to let people go if they need to be let go of, and to hold on tight if that's what's called for. I will pay attention, so I can cross each human heart that comes across my path, cross it as true as I can.” ― Laura Pritchett, Sky Bridge
  • Fri, 07:00: Time passes https://t.co/GVxNEFfV5L / today's little blog offering. https://t.co/DlgafqGmcU
  • Fri, 11:21: Anyone on Twitter know much about Deep Ecology?