“The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. The one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most.” ― Thomas Merton,The Seven Storey Mountain
I've been awake since 4 am. It might have been earlier, but that was when I looked at my phone.
Never mind. I'm here, and to me at least, that's all that matters.
I'll cut to the chase.
We judge everything in life by a nominal value — our litmus test if you will — called happiness.
Mostly, or so it appears, it's about seeking and holding on to something that pleases us — however ephemeral.
Nothing wrong with that you say.
But, if my life is any barometer of this stab in the dark, it's a chimaera of epic proportion. Then again, what does that have to do with you? I mean, just because I wasn't able to find happiness in my work or the things I pursued is no test of anything, right!
Then again, when I look up from this damn computer and start to analyse the stories, the language and the lives of those people who've I known, connected with or have skimmed the outer echelons of my life, there's an abundance of angst, anger and frustration in never reaching the promised land.
If only we'd stop running long enough to question our assumptions, beliefs and the sense of lack in not having everything our way; namely, more of the good stuff and a lot less of the shit.