July 11th, 2020

speaker, consultant, coach

Quote of the day

“Does anything in nature despair except man? An animal with a foot caught in a trap does not seem to despair. It is too busy trying to survive. It is all closed in, to a kind of still, intense waiting. Is this a key? Keep busy with survival. Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go.”
May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude

Ph. by Mona Eendra on Unsplash

speaker, consultant, coach

This moment will never come again

“I can tell you that solitude
Is not all exaltation, inner space
Where the soul breathes and work can be done.
Solitude exposes the nerve,
Raises up ghosts.
The past, never at rest, flows through it.”
May Sarton

Good morning.

The sun is up in Devon; I'm playing music by the Kronos Quartet who I first heard on Night Tracks, my new favourite show; and (of course) I've got a nice strong cup of coffee on the go which I'm drinking from my favourite mug — one made in Cornwall from the local clay and hand-painted.

All quite perfect.

And in case it's not already obvious — sorry, that's a little tendentious — this moment won't come again.

But it's all so bloody obvious, right!

Is it?

I can tell you that that sense of wonder, almost delirium, has flooded every emotion this past week, as I reflect on the last few hours with Brian where, in his semi-comatose state, I was stroking his soft, delicate forehead and talking to him: 

"It will be okay Dad. Everything will be okay Dad."

I could have stayed away or stayed out of his room but I didn't. It wasn't a case of never being able to live with myself but rather an overwhelming sense that I had to feel the warmth of his body one last time and to reassure him that I'd look after everything as best as I could; and, I'd carry on the awkward-squad tradition that was his trademark, particularly with those people who thought he had straw growing out his mouth because he had a strong Devon accent and came across as a bit of a yokel. 

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speaker, consultant, coach

Solitude

I want to be alone.

Selfish I know, but I'm not in the mood for conversation.

I wonder...why that is?

I don't know. 

Perhaps I want to reflect on everything that life (and my life) offers.

This morning, I walked across Dartmoor and took this photo. I felt part of the sky — the big, gorgeous sky. Being human just felt, well, devoid of anything more than...not very much.

I love you all.

Blessings

Ju.

speaker, consultant, coach

The tears flow

John Martyn

Couldn't Love You More

If you kissed the sun right out of the sky for me

And if you told me all the lies that I deserve

And if you laid all night in the rain for me

Well, I couldn't love you more

Just couldn't love you more

I couldn't love you more

And if you loved me till my eyes gave no more shine for you

If you walked beside me all the long way home

And if you wasted all of your time on me

Well, I couldn't love you more

Just couldn't love you more

I couldn't love you more

Just couldn't love you more

And if you gave me all the things, I'd never ask of you

And if you showed me all the ways you have to cry

And if you laid all night in the rain for me

I couldn't love you more

Just couldn't love you more

Just couldn't love you more