The realization that life isn’t our doing; we’re a movement of nature. Everything, just as it is in any moment, is the already complete and pure expression of existence; it’s never been a person accomplishing anything. — Darryl Bailey, Essence Revisited: Slipping Past the Shadows of Illusion
It's 5.04 am.
The coffee is poured and I'm listening to the Thievery Corporation.
I feel strangely calm. There's very little thinking save that I've got my father-in-law very much on my mind. I've said nothing about his recent fall (he's 83) or the fact that he's a very sick man. He's been in hospital for over three weeks but, thankfully, is coming home on Monday. If you're OK with it, I'd prefer not to say too much more until I've been able to see him for myself (social distancing rules being obeyed), but speaking to my wife — his youngest daughter (she's also a twin) — I understand what's at stake; namely, end-of-life care. Sorry, that's not a great thing to land on you but I've known for a while that he's been living on borrowed time — as I'm sure he does. Once I've seen him, I'll be able to write in a more open way and whilst it's going to be a difficult few weeks or months (if we're lucky), one thing I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, is that Brian — or BTP as we fondly call him that or Captain Chaos — has lived a full life. A very full life. In fact, he's probably lived two or three lives.( Collapse )