Julian Summerhayes

“The man who fears to be alone will never be anything but lonely, no matter how much he may surround himself with people. But the man who learns, in solitude and recollection, to be at peace with his own loneliness, and to prefer its reality to the illusion of merely natural companionship, comes to know the invisible companionship of God. Such a one is alone with God in all places, and he alone truly enjoys the companionship of other men, because he loves them in God in Whom their presence is not tiresome, and because of Whom his own love for them can never know satiety.”
― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

“The Way to do is to be.”
― Lao Tzu

Good morning.

It's the same routine — early start, coffee and silence — but of course, it's a brand new day.

Am I excited?

No, not really. 

I'm here and that's enough.

Previously, with this amount of free time (8/2010-10/2016), I would have made myself very busy. That's not true. As I've said many times we don't will our will — see the work of Arthur Schopenhauer. But whatever force and/or desire and/or passion was at work, it drove me mercilessly on — build a website, splurge some content about, build another email list and that doesn't include all the telephone calls and meetings, virtual or otherwise. Oh, and then there was the public (don't laugh) speaking!

Not now.

Instead, apart from the few bits of legal work, daily exercise (mostly walking with the family's gorgeous sprocker, Alfie) and reading, I'm doing nothing else apart from

sitting.

I won't show you my beat-up chair (it's barely holding together), but for the past month, I've abandoned my zafu — or should I say I've stopped using it — and mainly to do with comfort (I caused myself a soft tissue injury to my left knee trying to force myself into a full lotus posture) — I've been using it for my twice-daily meditation practice. But I've also, and this feels important, started to go outside and just sit. Yesterday was no exception and the above picture was the spot where I sat, with my eyes open, to take it all in. 

It?

A very comfy old tree with lovely warm moss to sit on (Alfie was doing his thing in the river). 

No aim; no goal. 

Present, aware and mindful but most of all blessed to be alive.